Maybe its cuz I was taught better or raised better or just have more self respect for myself but I refuse to be anyone’s main. Now that would be my typical response as an educated and independent woman; however, im beginning to think that its not about one’s knowledge but about the power of the word. So, what is a main?
Now from what I’ve read a Main Chick does the cookin, cleaning, takes care of all house duties, births the children and raises them. She maintains the house, knows all the family and friends, andkeeps up appearances. He gets promoted she goes to the party or the ceremony and if he is fired they come up with a game plan to keep their fsmily afloat. <—Now to some this sounds like a typical house wife and stay at home mom but would you believe she is even allowed to work. They are considered a team in public and private and she knows her place. Enter the Side Chick.
The side chick is the one that provides comfort when he is down, provides the great sex, and is the one he has no obligations too. He can talk to her about all the stress he is dealing with at work and all the stress from his main chick. She only knows a few friends, they never go out together, and no family members know about her. And again she knows her place. <—Now to some this sounds like a hoe. (Sorry for the language but todays post is all about the honesty)
So, now that we have gotten the definitions out of the way I have one very big question…WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YALL! !!! By yall I mean everyone woman that has made any girl feel that it is okay to be someones main or side chick and for every man that has made any boy feel that it is okay to have a main or a side chick.
I was always taught to respect myself and to make sure I can take care of myself and to depend on no man but what does that mean in respect to this topic? Honestly nothing. If tv and the news have taught us anything its that women from all walks of life can be someone’s main or side chick. From the White House….sorry Hillary (Bill Clinton) to the courts (bball that is) sorry Candy (Magic Johnson). Oh and of course reality tv which I always try to forget exists…Jocelyn and Stevie J…smh. And lets face it celebrities do it like its going out of style, Claire Danes (notorious cheater), Angelina and Brad…loved by all or not it was not okay how their union began, and most recently the two Smash love birds, for 5 seconds, Katherine Mcphee and Mary McCormacks husband and father to their 3 kids. (Side Note: Though some people feel this term is purely a black phenomenon it is not, its merely used more often by black people. Its the same way othercultures would use the term mistress. Just thought I would put that in perspective for anyone who may have been confused)
So what are we teaching our young girls and boys in respect to this and my response is
nothing. To often are kids, adolescents, and young adults seeing these tainted and frankly jacked up views of relationships publicized. Here anyone, young or old, say im his main or id rather be his side cuz I get all the perks and none of the drama, trust me Ive heard it, makes me cringe. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news ladies bjt saying your his number 1 is not that much better. In my mind if Im a number then there are others. I dont want to be at the top of a list, I want there to be no list.
So, to end today id like to list some questions all involved should ask and what their role means from my perspective based on the definitions I provided above.
1. You arent the only one…he is cheating on you.
2. Instead of leaning on you during rough times he leans on another woman
3. He is having sex with someone else. Hope yall are being safe and better yet hope he is being safe with her
4. You should consider asking how long have you been the main chick? Were you ever the only one? Were you once the side?
5. Has she accidentally met your kids? Do your kids no she exists?
6. Does he really love you or the image you give him?
7. Is this what respect looks like in his world?
1. Do you want him to leave her for you? Would he be willing to if you asked?
2. Is sex all you were looking for?
3. Do you want what the main has?
4. Are you the only one?
5. You are his hoe and he has no obligation to you.
6. You are agreeing to help break up someones home.
7. Would you want to be cheated on?
1. What if your side asked you to leave the main?
2. What if the main left? What if she took the kids with her?
3. What if your family found out? What if your mom found out?
4. What if your daughter was anything but someone’s only?
5. You’re a cheater and a liar…oh and your selfish.
Food for thought ladies and gentlemen. Food for thought. And as always thanks for reading