The main…the main what?!?!!

Maybe its cuz I was taught better or raised better or just have more self respect for myself but I refuse to be anyone’s main. Now that would be my typical response as an educated and independent woman; however, im beginning to think that its not about one’s knowledge but about the power of the word. So, what is a main?

Now from what I’ve read a Main Chick does the cookin, cleaning, takes care of all house duties, births the children and raises them. She maintains the house, knows all the family and friends, andkeeps up appearances. He gets promoted she goes to the party or the ceremony and if he is fired they come up with a game plan to keep their fsmily afloat. <—Now to some this sounds like a typical house wife and stay at home mom but would you believe she is even allowed to work. They are considered a team in public and private and she knows her place. Enter the Side Chick.

The side chick is the one that provides comfort when he is down, provides the great sex, and is the one he has no obligations too. He can talk to her about all the stress he is dealing with at work and all the stress from his main chick. She only knows a few friends, they never go out together, and no family members know about her. And again she knows her place. <—Now to some this sounds like a hoe. (Sorry for the language but todays post is all about the honesty)

So, now that we have gotten the definitions out of the way I have one very big question…WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YALL! !!! By yall I mean everyone woman that has made any girl feel that it is okay to be someones main or side chick and for every man that has made any boy feel that it is okay to have a main or a side chick.

I was always taught to respect myself and to make sure I can take care of myself and to depend on no man but what does that mean in respect to this topic? Honestly nothing. If tv and the news have taught us anything its that women from all walks of life can be someone’s main or side chick. From the White House….sorry Hillary (Bill Clinton) to the courts (bball that is) sorry Candy (Magic Johnson). Oh and of course reality tv which I always try to forget exists…Jocelyn and Stevie J…smh.  And lets face it celebrities do it like its going out of style, Claire Danes (notorious cheater), Angelina and Brad…loved by all or not it was not okay how their union began, and most recently the two Smash love birds, for 5 seconds, Katherine Mcphee and Mary McCormacks husband and father to their 3 kids. (Side Note: Though some people feel this term is purely a black phenomenon it is not, its merely used more often by black people. Its the same way othercultures would use the term mistress.  Just thought I would put that in perspective for anyone who may have been confused)

So what are we teaching our young girls and boys in respect to this and my response is nothing. To often are kids, adolescents,  and young adults seeing these tainted and frankly jacked up views of relationships publicized. Here anyone, young or old,  say im his main or id rather be his side cuz I get all the perks and none of the drama, trust me Ive heard it, makes me cringe. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news ladies bjt saying your his number 1 is not that much better. In my mind if Im a number then there are others. I dont want to be at the top of a list, I want there to be no list.

So, to end today id like to list some questions all involved should ask and what their role means from my perspective based on the definitions I provided above.

Main Chick
1. You arent the only one…he is cheating on you.
2. Instead of leaning on you during rough times he leans on another woman
3. He is having sex with someone else. Hope yall are being safe and better yet hope he is being safe with her
4. You should consider asking how long have you been the main chick? Were you ever the only one? Were you once the side?
5. Has she accidentally met your kids? Do your kids no she exists?
6. Does he really love you or the image you give him?
7. Is this what respect looks like in his world?

Side Chick
1. Do you want  him to leave her for you? Would he be willing to if you asked?
2. Is sex all you were looking for?
3. Do you want what the main has?
4. Are you the only one?
5. You are his hoe and he has no obligation to you.
6. You are agreeing to help break up someones home.
7. Would you want to be cheated on?

Man
1. What if your side asked you to leave the main?
2. What if the main left? What if she took the kids with her?
3. What if your family found out? What if your mom found out?
4. What if your daughter was anything but someone’s only?
5. You’re a cheater and a liar…oh and your selfish.

Food for thought ladies and gentlemen.  Food for thought. And as always thanks for reading :)

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Thieves of Joy

So this will probably be one of the most random posts I write but it has been on my mind quite a bit today so here it is lol.

Thoughts. What is the actual definition of a thought. A thought or thoughts is defined as, “the action or thought of thinking”. So I ask what do you primarily think about? 

I ask this because there are always good and bad thoughts and good thoughts often put us in dream world (in my opinion, calm down) and bad thoughts can just alter ones mood completely (again, in my opinion). Do you agree or disagree?

Now why do I say dream world because thoughts are not always realistic let’s just face it sometimes thoughts are things that comfort us in times of need but aren’t beneficial when they occur later. Or thoughts are input by others in an effort to comfort us only for us to harp on later. And then there are bad thoughts. 

These are the thoughts I call thieves of joy. They can bring our mood down and keep us from focusing on the present and the happiness we are currently in also known as the now. Now I’m not talking about thoughts of wanting to harm ones self I’m talking more about thoughts of what could be or hasn’t yet come to pass.

So as I write this I’m thinking maybe the thieves of joy are thoughts about the past and the future not bad thoughts.  Again I wonder what do yall think?

And as always thanks for reading :)

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It comes in waves…

So…I didn’t exactly know what to call this post and I’m not exactly sure what to say in this post so I’m just gonna say some things lol.

The dark…Also known as depression.  This is something that I don’t think many people understand until they experience it. Either that or they work in the mental health field.

It comes in waves…that was the start of a poem I work and it really is what comes to mind right now. In fact I’ll probably re title the post that. But it just comes in waves, one moment I can be happy and then too many things go wrong or one area in my life gets too stressful or emotion inducing and I’m wanting to sleep in all day, go nowhere, and only talk to a select few if any at all.

Whenever my depression hits I find myself saying your too blessed to be stressed or have too much to be depressed or depression is a choice and then I remind myself that that’s all crap!!! Yeah I said it. It erks my nerves when people say those things to me or when I see those things in tweets or statuses because true depression is a chemical imbalance. No its not an excuse to hurt others or yourself or a pass to not do anything productive in life ever but it is a true mental health issue that can require both medication and talk therapy. Both of which are recommended and beneficial together.
I think a big gateway for me, that let’s me know a depressive episode is on the verge is exhaustion, wanting to isolate myself, and the need to cry. So what is my go too, friends and poetry. More so poetry cuz I’m not good at talking to friends about my issues…hence my blog. Lol.

So what are some of your depressive curbing ways? And always thanks for reading :)

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Reflection and Moving Forward

Well fellow bloggers,  readers, family, and friends I feel like it’s been a while and the time for reflection is definitely upon us. I already did a thank you post so I thought I would focus this more one my life in 2013 and what I hope to achieve in 2014.

Well 2013 bought alot of ups, downs, heartbreak, pain, accomplishments, and triumphs for myself, friends, and family…Also fellow bloggers from what I have read. Great posts by the way. :)
So what did I go through in 2013. ..

The bad, the ugly, and the not so great

1. So in 2013 I started pursuing my doctorate, while continuing to pursue licensure and work full time.  Now I made the conscious decision to pursue this degree and has to do with what I want to accomplish in the future and my job is incredibly supportive BUT …it’s very stressful attempting to balance it all. I mean my Lord it just leaves one with little time to sleep, breathe, and rest and relax and it resulted in 2013 being extremely challenging.

2. I got diagnosed with cancer. Now this was the big one of the year…All the pain and exhaustion mounted up to a diagnosis of a neuroendocrine carcinoid tumor and trust me when I say that the pain was real. My family and friends were scared and thus I felt as if I had to be more of a comforter than the comforted. Plus it resulted in me dropping a class, scrambling with school work, and constantly having to take off of work. Just not a good look.

3. The love of my life walked away. This is what I actually took the hardest because I just knew that he was made just for me. I mean the laughter and joy we feel when together and apart is unmatchable…trust me, attempted to find it, but when someone is the one they are the one.

The good, the great, and the amazing

1. I beat cancer. By far the BEST thing to come out of 2013. I never thought I’d get it much less beat it. To others it was quick but for me it was 8 months of pain, questions, and struggling to finally be free and know that a yearly check up means that there is a HIGH UNLIKELY HOOD that it won’t return. Oncologists prognosis and in the words of Mickey D’s I’m loving it :)

2. My family got some of what they deserve from me. Now this may sound weird but 2013 is the first year I completely paid all my bills and managed to give some things back to my family for all their support, encouragement, and help and that’s physically, mentally, and financially. 

3. I maintained a 4.0. So for the first time in years of schooling I managed to start with and maintain a 4.0 through 3 years of school which makes me incredibly happy and encouraged to keep pushing and striving for more. With each degree my gpa is higher so since this is the last one I hope that I’m able to continue to maintain as it gets harder.

4. He came back. Now my favorite way to say it is he realized the error of his ways because I’m awesome lol. But in all seriousness when people are honest to themselves and the people that they love they are often able to realize that they played a role in their relationship demise also. That being said sometimes when you slow down, spend time apart, and reflect you realize what you had, what you want to improve on, and how to make your relationship stronger. Not gonna lie, every time that a friend got back with an ex I thought seriously what changed..and sometimes I thought welp apparently nothing but other times I saw that rather it worked out or not the two individuals did change. I think it also helps when you attend to move on. My mother always taught me everything happens for a reason and though challenging at times, I believe it. So during our break up we attempted to move on but in the end I think we just had unfinished business that needed to be resolved so that we can move forward and get stronger. Definitely one of the best things to come out of 2013 by far. 

5. I got serious about exercise.  It took a while but I finally got a membership and began working out and getting healthier and I even loss weight. Unfortunately I began to get really sick at that point and recently have been sick for 3 straight weeks thus with my procedures and health I had to stop; but I’ve been more determined than ever to get back in there and continue this healthy journey.

6. I went to two concerts. Yesssss. I finally got to experience some amazing concerts firs Macklemore and Ryan Lewis the heist tour and then Justin Timberlake the 20/20 experience. Both amazing experiencing and if ever there are some amazing entertainers and performers to see it would be them. They put on an amazing show and truly care about their friends.

7. I went to Vegas. One of the most amazing and frustrating experiences of my life but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Had some amazing women with me and they made it that much better. Saw the strip, gambled, and rested. Loved it and recommend that everyone go at least once with their boys or their home girls and then at least once with their significant other.

8. My dad came and lived with me. Now to some that’s madness but being a coined daddy’s girl it was awesome. Though we operated on different schedules since he was just here a little while, while starting a new…don’t worry parent are still happily married lol, it was awesome. We grew closer and more importantly I think he was finally able to truly see me all grown up and as an adult while I was able to finally see him as a human being.  Very important for for an adult child and parent relationship. Trust me.

So 2013 has been a hell of a year…excuse my language so the question becomes what do I hope for 2014.

1. I hope to make leeway on doctoral thesis so that I can graduate on time. I’ve honestly been slacking outside of my coursework and I know I need to get back on it and stay strong with my research and moving forward.

2. I hope to continue to give my family and those I love the best they deserve.

3. I want to pay off some of my credit card debt. Let’s be honest we all have it and as someone that hates credit cards owing any money at all means I have to much debt so one card at a time.

4. I hope to continue to grow as a person and become more self confidant and become established in my professional role so that I can accomplish more in the future.

5. I want to continue to build on the amazing and beautiful relationship that is blossoming with my love and I hope we keep the communication open and flowing because I believe that without friendship, communication, faith, and trust…you have no foundation for my relationship to stand up.

So here is a picture summary of my  2013
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Good times with loving family and amazing friends :)
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Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Concert
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Chose one pic to represent all the health issues of 2013 lol.

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Some dark days in 2013 had to rely on alot of prayer
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Doctoral program…nuff said lol
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Justin Timberlake concert

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Vegas :)
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My father’s retirement cookout and cermeony after 27 years and 6 months of service to the United States Army :)

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Two close friends FINALLY got married and thus it was a freshman year reunion. :)
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Met my Godson and his mother got married :) 
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My love :)

So what sums up your year and what do you look forward to in 2014? Oh and have a HAPPY HAPPY and BLESSED NEW YEAR :)

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Thankful :)

Well its almost that time…Christmas that is and thanksgiving just past so I felt the need to do a typical …or maybe not so typical post about what I’m thankful for. I think that so often we take things for granted and don’t even realize it and so this is one of the few times of year people acknowledge that others have helped them get where they are and become where they are. So, here goes. Oh and they are in no particular order.

1. My mom. I mean that lady is seriously superwoman. I’ve never known someone who could wake up at four a.m., work 10+ hours and then come home and cook dinner after running 6 billion errands. But more importantly she has taught what it means to be strong, resilent, reliable, and how to love. I’m talking no holds bars, Yall piss me off and I don’t agree with what your doing but your still my babies so I’ll support you kind of love and I feel that should never be taken for granted.

2. My pops. One of the many names that I call him. I mean seriously I call him alot of names but he has made me the respectable, hard working,  driven,  and determined woman I am today. He taught me how to truly be independent and never strive or settle for less than I deserve but more importantly he truly loves my sister and I unconditional.  We are his heart and he is ours and that is definitely important.  He also taught me what I should look for in a man and I am truly thankful for that as well.

3. Baby sis. This chick right here aka kid aka lil sis…yeah she has many names. She has taught me so much that it’s even hard to explain. I mean you would think being the youngest she would only be learning but she is always growing and teaching me things and I’m thankful for the amazing relationship we have, I mean we are truly best friends even when we are enemies. And yes she is 21…but she will always be my baby sis lol.

4. My friends. Lawd knows I need those crazy ladies and gentleman in my life. I don’t call too many people friends…or true friends to the point where they are family but to those I do I know they would give anything to help me and I would do the same. True friendship is knowing no matter the time or distance they’ll always be there for you and I have that :)

5. My love. Life is a test and we don’t always past every test we are given in life and I think that is so that we can learn a lesson and move forward and past the next test. When you meet someone that truly gets you, allows you to be yourself, flaws and all with no reservation and supports you and dreams…keep them because they know your worth it and their obviously worth it too.

6. I’m cancer free. I am going to go ahead and claim it even before the MRI because of the power of positive thinking. All my health issues and I still never thought I would utter those words or have to utter those words but I’m thankful nonetheless that it was caught early and I came out on the otherside.

7. My job, house, and car. I am not typically materialistic but these are things that are necessities and that i am so very gratrful to have.

So that is my list and I’m sure I missed something but I know I am mostly grateful for life. I think often that is the biggest thing we take for granted and it can be snatches away in a moments notice. So my question is what are you thankful for?

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One last round…

So…As you all know I have been going back and forth with all the doctor’s appointments and well I have hopefully only one more.

First, I met with the oncologist and it turns out I had a neuroendocrine carcinoid tumor in my rectum. Which indeed meant I had cancer.  Super scary word again. The good news…He said that because that type of tumor is rare and because there is a high likely hood it won’t return I don’t have to radiation or chemotherapy.  I repeat …none ya. ..so I’m one happy girl. I mean he said and I quote, “if you had to have a tumor this is one that you want. ..your prognosis is good”. So ofcourse I am super happy and now my appointment to double check that they have dotted all their I’s and crossed all their T’s.  My mri.

I’m scheduled to have an MRI done of my abdomen in two weeks to make sure that there are no more problems and to make sure that I am officially CANCER FREE. So, cross your fingers and let’s hope for the best. 

I also wanted to provide you guys with at link about what I had in case you were curious about what it is and how it can be identified.  And as always, thanks for reading :)

http://surgery.ucsf.edu/conditions–procedures/neuroendocrine-carcinoid-tumor.aspx

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Answers…yes!!! Oh but wait…more Questions!!!

So my health…yeah that has definitely been a roller coaster ride and every time I get an answer I have so many questions.  So, where to start?  Well the last time that wrote about it I had a colonoscopy, which is something you don’t usually have until your 45 if your African American and 50 if your Caucasian.  And due to some not so good blood test results it was suggested that I get one done…so I did.

IMG_20131002_173018_447.jpgJust a reminder from the disgusting drink that I was forced to drink to clear out my colon lol…okay I may still be a little bitter lol.

So, after the colonoscopy they found two things: 1. a polyp in my illeum and 2. a carcinoid tumor in my rectum.  Now just for clarification rectum is not the anus…I learned this as I kept confusing the two.  Now, of course they biopsied the tumor to make sure it was a carcinoid and the doctor told me he didn’t suspect it was one but apparently he really did…I guess he was just attempting to comfort me.  Either way, I got a call a few weeks later and he told me that it was a carcinoid tumor….now the word tumor is definitely a scary word and so I’m not going to lie I ended up in my car crying after I first found out the results but I sucked it up and realized I had to just keep pressing on and so the next step was a rectal ultrasound at Emory.  Apparently they were the only ones in the Atlanta area that had the tool necessary to do so.  So, once again I took off another day of work to have it done.

IMG_20131111_103631_084.jpgMe putting a smile on my face before the rectal ultrasound because I felt like I would finally be getting some answers plus my mom made fun of me for taking a pic so I laughed a little lol.

IMG_20131111_103648_657.jpg And iv’s oh how I hate the.  I have been poked and prodded more than anyone would ever like to be poked and prodded trust me.

So, what is the purpose of a rectal ultrasound in this case. The purpose of this was to examine the tumor and biopsy it and determine rather or not it was cancer and rather or not it had spread.  And by the way I was told they were just going to biopsy the tumor but once he got me to the procedure room he had a detailed conversation with me about the tumor and how he was going to remove it and have it biopsied.  So, immediately after the procedure the doctor came in and told me that it was low grade cancer….yes…he actually said the word cancer and said that I would now need to get checked once a year to make sure it didn’t come back.  So, a little lesson…what does low grade mean?  Low grade means that it is slow growing which is definitely a good thing.  Of course I had to wait for the call of the biopsy results.  Enter my mistake…I tell everyone it’s all good its all gone…my mistake.

Enter, the phone call from the Dr. himself.  I was really surpised that he was calling me himself, I expected a tec or nurse or someone but it was him.  Enter, the words I didn’t want to hear, “Hi, Ms. Thomas. I was calling to see how you were doing.  Alright, great.  So, I got the tumor out…all of it, clean margins and everything so there is none of it left.  However, when they biopsied the tumor and opened it they say they found blood vessels and lymph nodes.  What this means is that I will be emailing oncology so that they can contact you and take your treatment on from here. They will probably want to do a lot of scans and then from there determine what the next step of your treatment will be.  It’s going to be okay so just hang in there okay.”.  So, there you have it…it could have spread somewhere else in my body.  So what are my thoughts?

Well, honestly I feel that it is somewhere else.  You know how you know your body and known when its off well I know something is off.  Now time out for a minute and I will explain why.

——> After visiting my OBGYN via my Gastroenterologist recommendation a pelvic ultrasound, regular ultrasound, and pap smear were done.  They found an ovarion cyst and a 4.2 cm mass on my kidney….so they said.  So, then they made me have CT Scan to scan my kidney ;  IMG_20131105_125009_078.jpg <—Enter another disgusting drink in order to allow the dye to go in my body.  FYI they then had to put an IV in my hand and then the die burned the crap out of me to the point where I yelled out loud and the guy stopped pushing the dye through.  So, anyways they called me and told me that the results of the CT Scan were clear; thus my confusion because how do you see a mass and then its gone; however, you know whats not gone my pain.

Now, back to the topic at hand…I feel that something else is still off and something else is still wrong.  And more importantly I cant believe that I had and could still have cancer.  I have had health issues my entire life so its never a surprise when I get the flu or something because I have the immune system of a newborn; however, cancer that is a whole new scary ball game.  

I’m dealing though and it if wasn’t for prayer and my family and friends I wouldn’t be making it.  My support system is like no other and I am going to continue to have to rely on them to make it through.  I just hope that the prayers keep rolling and that it hasn’t spread to anywhere in my body because it is definitely a struggle to remain positive.  As always, I’ll keep you guys updated and thanks for reading :) 

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2nd chances…2nd thoughts…

So, recently my life has become really complicated, in my opinion, as it relates to my personal life.  I have come across some amazing men in my life and some not so amazing men, as I’m sure everybody has…ladies for you guys and ladies too lol.  But either way I think we all have had various relationships that have taught us something about others and ourselves, what we are willing to accept, and what we feel is just unacceptable.  Well, in my instance I think that I am still learning this lesson.  

I think at times I struggle with balancing what I deserve and what I want but wait…shouldn’t those be the same thing?  I mean shouldn’t you deserve the best and want the best for yourself?  There is a saying that no matter how wonderful of a person you are if that person isn’t ready to commit then the relationship won’t work.  Now, usually that saying is related to men not being ready but honestly I have came across some women who weren’t ready to commit, I have been that woman that wasn’t ready to commit to a great guy because I was scared, or thought I wanted something different, or hell was just confused.  Thus, contemplation and over thinking which as you all have noticed is my specialty have caused me to re-evaluate some relationships in my life lately and make some decisions that frankly may or may not be the best thing for me or that person, I’m just not sure.  

I have never been someone that could just live in the present, in the here and now, frankly because I’m always trying to make sure I don’t make the same mistakes I’ve made in the past and because I want to make the future I want.  This can be both a positive and negative and nothing has taught me that more than this year.  This is also a huge contributor to depression, if you believe in CBT. ….Yeah therapist moment sorry… But then there is also that other factor my health.  

I have days when I don’t want to get out of bed or do anything, when I’m in pain, when I just want to be held and what about that other person?  I feel like they don’t deserve that.  I mean lets face the facts if I was like 65 and I felt like this it would be expected but when your in your 20s you want to go out, do things, be around people, and just have a good time and sometimes when your at home you want to chill and relax but you don’t want to be someone’s caregiver or personal nurse, even if its not often.  These are things that I struggle with because I don’t think anyone should be forced or obligated to take care of someone and I feel that love makes that an obligation.  So, what do I do…do I avoid love, do I hope that someone is willing to make that sacrifice, do I force them to make that sacrifice?!?!?! So many questions and I have them all the time because I want a family and every time I turn around my health is causing another issue for me and those I love.  I mean I find myself being more of their support system and helping them through it because they are worried and hurting because they can’t help me.  I feel that family is obligated to endure that because they are blood and even friends because they can choose to support you or not but when you bring a significant other in to the picture you are taking the choice away from them because as my exes like to say I make them fall in love with me.

So, I sit in a shroud of questions, uncertainty, and frankly in a state of constant fear that when its all said and done I am going to hurt someone or be hurt and then I think is there anyone to avoid this, anyway for no one to be hurt and I think…well no.  Thus should I give second chances, should I be given a second chance….I don’t know cuz I can’t stop having second thoughts…

If you love me let go…the fear of falling part…-The Gospel-Panic at the Disco

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2nd chances…2nd thoughts…

So, recently my life has become really complicated, in my opinion, as it relates to my personal life.  I have come across some amazing men in my life and some not so amazing men, as I’m sure everybody has…ladies for you guys and ladies too lol.  But either way I think we all have had various relationships that have taught us something about others and ourselves, what we are willing to accept, and what we feel is just unacceptable.  Well, in my instance I think that I am still learning this lesson.  

I think at times I struggle with balancing what I deserve and what I want but wait…shouldn’t those be the same thing?  I mean shouldn’t you deserve the best and want the best for yourself?  There is a saying that no matter how wonderful of a person you are if that person isn’t ready to commit then the relationship won’t work.  Now, usually that saying is related to men not being ready but honestly I have came across some women who weren’t ready to commit, I have been that woman that wasn’t ready to commit to a great guy because I was scared, or thought I wanted something different, or hell was just confused.  Thus, contemplation and over thinking which as you all have noticed is my specialty have caused me to re-evaluate some relationships in my life lately and make some decisions that frankly may or may not be the best thing for me or that person, I’m just not sure.  

I have never been someone that could just live in the present, in the here and now, frankly because I’m always trying to make sure I don’t make the same mistakes I’ve made in the past and because I want to make the future I want.  This can be both a positive and negative and nothing has taught me that more than this year.  This is also a huge contributor to depression, if you believe in CBT. ….Yeah therapist moment sorry… But then there is also that other factor my health.  

I have days when I don’t want to get out of bed or do anything, when I’m in pain, when I just want to be held and what about that other person?  I feel like they don’t deserve that.  I mean lets face the facts if I was like 65 and I felt like this it would be expected but when your in your 20s you want to go out, do things, be around people, and just have a good time and sometimes when your at home you want to chill and relax but you don’t want to be someone’s caregiver or personal nurse, even if its not often.  These are things that I struggle with because I don’t think anyone should be forced or obligated to take care of someone and I feel that love makes that an obligation.  So, what do I do…do I avoid love, do I hope that someone is willing to make that sacrifice, do I force them to make that sacrifice?!?!?! So many questions and I have them all the time because I want a family and every time I turn around my health is causing another issue for me and those I love.  I mean I find myself being more of their support system and helping them through it because they are worried and hurting because they can’t help me.  I feel that family is obligated to endure that because they are blood and even friends because they can choose to support you or not but when you bring a significant other in to the picture you are taking the choice away from them because as my exes like to say I make them fall in love with me.

So, I sit in a shroud of questions, uncertainty, and frankly in a state of constant fear that when its all said and done I am going to hurt someone or be hurt and then I think is there anyone to avoid this, anyway for no one to be hurt and I think…well no.  Thus should I give second chances, should I be given a second chance….I don’t know cuz I can’t stop having second thoughts…

If you love me let go…the fear of falling part…-The Gospel-Panic at the Disco

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Health Update

So, unlike my other health post this one is actually going to be pretty brief. Just wanted to let you know that there actually ended up being an issue in two places in my abdomen.  

The first issue has resulted in me having to have an appointment with Emory University’s Clinic.  And since my family wants us to have the complete picture before I disclose what is going on there I have opted not to blog about that until they are comfortable with me doing so.  They aren’t big on sharing a bunch of information and so I’ve decided to respect their wishes but as soon as I have a definitive I will definitely let you guys know.

The second issue is extremely minor which I am glad for.  I have an ovarian cyst on my left ovary, which both my sister and my best friend have had some problems with this in the past so I know compared to many other issues this is extremely minor and I am thankful that it was nothing worse.  I also am awaiting the results of my papsmear and pelvic exam to determine if there are any other issues going on with my lady parts, *crosses fingers*, let’s hope there isn’t.

 

Again thank you all for reading my blog and hanging in there with me.  I appreciate all of your support and of course prayers are also appreciated as I continue on this journey to battle my health and figure out what the next step is in getting better.

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